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傲慢与偏见 第78章
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    she perfectly reebere everything that ha passe in conversation between wickha an herself,in their first evening at r.phillipss.any of his expressions were still fresh in her eory. she was now struck with the ipropriety of such unications to a stranr, an wonere it ha escape her before. she saw the inelicacy of putting hiself forwar as he ha one,an the inconsistency of his professions with his conuct.she reebere that he ha boaste of having no fear of seeing r.arcy—that r.arcy ight leave the country,but that he shoul stan his groun;yet he ha avoie the herfiel ball the very next week. she reebere also that,till the herfiel faily ha itte the country,he ha tol his story to no one but herself;but that after their reoval it ha been everywhere iscusse;that he ha then no reserves, no scruples in sinking r. arcys character, though he ha assure her that respect for the father woul always prevent his exposing the son.

    how ifferently i everything now appear in which he was concerne!his attentions to iss king were now the conseence of views solely an hatefully ercenary;an the eiocrity of her fortune prove no lonr the oeration of his wishes, but his earness to grasp at anything. his behaviour to herself coul now have ha no tolerable otive;he ha either been eceive with regar to her fortune, or ha been gratifying his vanity by encouraging the preference which she believe she ha ost incautiously shown. every linring struggle in his favour grew fainter an fainter; an in farther justification of r. arcy, she coul not but allow that r. ngley, when estione by jane, ha long ago asserte his blaelessness in the affair; that prou an repulsive as were his anners, she ha never, in the whole course of their acaintance—an acaintance which ha latterly brought the uch tother, an given her a sort of intiacy with his ways—seen anything that betraye hi to be unprinciple or unjust—anything that spoke hi of irreligious or ioral hats;that aong his own connections he was esteee an value—that even wickha ha allowe hi erit as a brother,an that she ha often hear hi speak so affectionately of his sister as to prove hi capable of soe aiable feeling;that ha his actions been what r.wickha represente the, so gross a violation of everything right coul harly have been conceale fro the worl;an that frienship between a person capable of it, an such an aiable an as r. ngley, was inprehensible.

    she grew absolutely ashae of herself.of neither arcy nor wickha coul she think without feeling she ha been blin, partial,prejuice,absur.

    “how espicably i have acte!”she crie;“i,who have prie yself on y iscernent! i, who have value yself on y alities!who have often isaine the nerous canour of y sister, an gratifie y vanity in useless or blaeable istrust! how huiliating is this iscovery!yet, how just a huiliation! ha i been in love,i coul not have been ore wretchely blin! but vanity,not love,has been y folly.please with the preference of one, an offene by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our acaintance,i have courte prepossession an ignorance,an riven reason away,where either were concerne. till this oent i never knew yself.”

    fro herself to jane—fro jane to ngley,her thoughts were in a line which soon brought to her recollection that r.arcys explanation there ha appeare very insufficient,an she rea it again.wiely ifferent was the effect of a secon perusal.how coul she eny that creit to his assertions in one instance,which she ha been obli to give in the other?he eclare hiself to be totally unsuspicious of her sisters attachent;an she coul not help reebering what charlottes opinion ha always been. neither coul she eny the justice of his eion of jane.she felt that janes feelings,though fervent,were little isplaye,an that there was a constant placency in her air an anner not often unite with great sensility.

    when she cae to that part of the letter in which her faily were entione in ters of such ortifying, yet erite reproach,her sense of shae was severe.the justice of the chae struck her too forcibly for enial,an the circustances to which he particularly allue as having passe at the herfiel ball, an as confiring all his first isapprobation, coul not have ae a stronr ipression on his in than on hers.

    the plient to herself an her sister was not unfelt. it soothe, but it coul not console her for the contept which ha thus been self-attracte by the rest of her faily;an as she consiere that janes isappointent ha in fact been the work of her nearest relations,an reflecte how aterially the creit of both ust be hurt by such ipropriety of conuct, she felt epresse beyon anything she ha ever known before.

    after wanering along the lane for two hours, giving way to every variety of thought—re-consiering events, eterining probalities, an reconciling herself, as well as she coul, to a chan so suen an so iportant, fatigue, an a recollection of her long absence, ae her at length return hoe; an she entere the house with the wish of appearing cheerful as usual, an the resolution of repressing such reflections as ust ake her unfit for conversation.

    she was ieiately tol that the two ntleen fro rosings ha each calle uring her absence;r.arcy,only for a few inutes, to take leave—but that colonel fitzwillia ha been sitting with the at least an hour, hoping for her return, an alost resolving to walk after her till she coul be foun. elizabeth coul but just affect concern in issing hi;she really rejoice at it. colonel fitzwillia was no lonr an object; she coul think only of her letter.
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